Q: How many radical feminists does it take to change a tire?
A: A man, because apparently a fish does need a bicycle.
While pondering some of the cognitively dissonant aspects of my own personality (and having nothing to do this evening), I came up with:
THE ENLIGHTENED REDNECK TEST
The Enlightened Redneck is one who can move equally easily in elitist, bi-coastal circles or at a rural down-home barbeque.
This “test” considers attributes that are commonly considered “enlightened” – those in category (1) – and those considered “redneck” – those in category (2). For each question, give yourself one point for either category (1) or (2), or both, and total them for each category. If the totals of the two categories are more than five points apart, then the Enlightened Redneck is out of balance, and needs to channel his or her inner aesthete (if too high in the (2) category), or go outdoors and do some huntin’ (if too high in the (1) category). Take the test …
Only Chuck Norris can help Obama win in November.
Unfortunately, Chuck Norris thinks Obama is an asshole.
Yeah, that’s not “I pulled a groin muscle” funny, but it is funny in a transgressive, hipster, “I don’t care if it’s funny” kind of way.
Why did Obama cross the road in January 2013?
Because he was stapled to the chicken. And because he got his ass kicked at the polls the previous November. But mostly because he got his ass kicked at the polls.
This falls in the category of “surreal, sort-of funny, but REALLY funny if you are hanging around with buds on the weekend stoned to the gills.”
Man! This guy just kills me!
Who writes this shit? Not Obama; he doesn’t write anything he says.
(From Real Clear Politics – sorry there’s no embedded video; click on the link to watch)
As I’ve been miserably lax in posting our regular Friday Funneh™, I so like totally stole this from Aggie at Hookers & Booze:
The Washington Post has no balls, but your Wiccapundit does (Substantial Ones of Clanging Brass™), so I will post the cartoon that the Washington Post thought was so inflammatory, that Muslims would be upset: a cartoon that doesn’t show an image of Muhammed (Peace Be Upon Him™).
As the cartoonist himself says:
The award-winning cartoonist, who lives in Maine, told me the cartoon was meant to satirize “the insanity of an entire group of people rioting and putting out a hit list over cartoons,” as well as “media cowering in fear of printing any cartoon that contains the word ‘Muhammad.’ ”
“The wonderful irony [is that] great newspapers like The Washington Post, that took on Nixon . . . run in fear of this very tame cartoon, thus validating the accuracy of the satire,” he said by e-mail.
Here it is, without any semblance of an apology: