While pondering some of the cognitively dissonant aspects of my own personality (and having nothing to do this evening), I came up with:
THE ENLIGHTENED REDNECK TEST
The Enlightened Redneck is one who can move equally easily in elitist, bi-coastal circles or at a rural down-home barbeque.
This “test” considers attributes that are commonly considered “enlightened” – those in category (1) – and those considered “redneck” – those in category (2). For each question, give yourself one point for either category (1) or (2), or both, and total them for each category. If the totals of the two categories are more than five points apart, then the Enlightened Redneck is out of balance, and needs to channel his or her inner aesthete (if too high in the (2) category), or go outdoors and do some huntin’ (if too high in the (1) category). Take the test …