While pondering some of the cognitively dissonant aspects of my own personality (and having nothing to do this evening), I came up with:
THE ENLIGHTENED REDNECK TEST
The Enlightened Redneck is one who can move equally easily in elitist, bi-coastal circles or at a rural down-home barbeque.
This “test” considers attributes that are commonly considered “enlightened” – those in category (1) – and those considered “redneck” – those in category (2). For each question, give yourself one point for either category (1) or (2), or both, and total them for each category. If the totals of the two categories are more than five points apart, then the Enlightened Redneck is out of balance, and needs to channel his or her inner aesthete (if too high in the (2) category), or go outdoors and do some huntin’ (if too high in the (1) category). Take the test …
This needs to make the rounds. There’s not enough satire focusing on President Obama. Most comedic acts poke fun only at conservatives. This has a level of honesty that is a breath of fresh air:
Forget all the pundits (including yours truly) trying to square the circle on Roberts’ convoluted reasoning. Iowahawk has it clearly spelled out for you right here:
Unfortunately, Chuck Norris thinks Obama is an asshole.
Yeah, that’s not “I pulled a groin muscle” funny, but it is funny in a transgressive, hipster, “I don’t care if it’s funny” kind of way.
Why did Obama cross the road in January 2013?
Because he was stapled to the chicken. And because he got his ass kicked at the polls the previous November. But mostly because he got his ass kicked at the polls.
This falls in the category of “surreal, sort-of funny, but REALLY funny if you are hanging around with buds on the weekend stoned to the gills.”
This is some of the funniest shit EVAH! Can we get this guy to replace TurboTimmeh Geithner?
“Stop bein’ a dickhead and balance the fuckin’ budget!”
“President Obama! You, personally; all the black people was proud, we got a black president. You actin’ like one right now, B. Pay your fuckin’ bills on time!”
