Monday, December 11, 2017 09:37

Posts Tagged ‘WTF’

Warning: Don’t fuck with the ballet dancers.

Friday, January 18th, 2013

– Wiccapundit

Who knew that West Side Story was actually correct?   That dancing gang members like the Sharks and the Jets were more dangerous than the Crips and the Bloods?

From Russia comes news that the Artistic Director of the famed Bolshoi Theatre was being treated for serious burns to his face and possible loss of his eyesight after a masked man threw acid in his face as he walked home late one night in Moscow.  Why?

The BBC’s Steve Rosenberg in Moscow says it is suspected that he was the victim of infighting and rows between different groups of dancers at the Bolshoi.

The theatre’s executive director, Anatoly Iksanov, told Russian television that Mr Filin was “uncompromising” in his management style.

“If he thought a performer was unready to play a certain role, or incapable of it, he would not let the performer do it,” he said.

Artistic Director:  “You are not ready to dance this role.”

Dancer: “Fine.  I will KEEL you!”

I will never look at ballet the same way again.

 

 

(h/t Ace of Spades)

 

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Chicago teachers are on strike. Remember this teacher?

Monday, September 10th, 2012

– Wiccapundit

I’m sure this one is at the front of the picket line:

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Seriously? Seriously?

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

– Wiccapundit

Your Wiccapundit loves him some show tunes.  South Pacific, My Fair Lady, Guys and Dolls, and of more recent vintage The Will Rogers Follies (with lyrics by Betty Comden and Adolph Green, who wrote the lyrics to Guys and Dolls).  But I hates me some truly amateurish community college theater major-bush league-municipal theater company attempt at being both politically relevant and off-off-off Broadway at the same time.   That, of course, would be One Term More, a website devoted to getting Obama the second term he so richly deserves, and the “musical” production found at the site.

This has to be the most wretched example of Lefty propaganda ever to see the light of day.  (click on the link, as the video can’t be embedded).  Watch it, if you can.  Watch it, if you dare.  If you can make it through the entire 6:12, you are capable of withstanding a waterboarding personally administered by Dick Cheney.

One Term More

Seriously, we are into territory that makes Plan Nine From Outer Space look like Oscar-worthy material.  I note that the title is One Term More, rather than One More Term.  I suppose that this was deliberate in order to provide more rhyming opportunities for the Thesaurusly-challenged librettist responsible for gems like this:

This man who would unseat Barack’s
A bleak choice at the ballot box.

Really?  You rhymed “Barack’s” with “box?”  I never would have seen that.  I guess that’s why you make your living at this kind of work.

Filibusters. Budget scrums.
Ultrasounds & speculums.
To the Dark Side they’ve succumbed.

Hmmm, let’s see: “scrums,” “speculums,” and “succumbed.”  Milton?  A piker.  Byron?  A hack.  This guy knows how to write poetry.  I bet those dead English guys could never have come up with a stinging retort like calling Republicans “fetid nuts.”

I guess they didn’t call the show One More Term because the only words that rhyme with “term” are “germ,” “sperm,” and “squirm.”  Which, if you  think about it, could all be used in one sentence and still accurately reflect the current administration.

Honestly, I think Spanky, Darla, and Alfalfa did a better job when one of the Little Rascals said “Hey! Let’s put on a show!”

I cannot give this performance the review it deserves.  I leave that to Cousin Vinny:

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Cast Iron Testicles

Thursday, November 17th, 2011

– Wiccapundit

In Glengarry Glen Ross, Alec Baldwin’s character said: “Do you know what it takes to sell real estate?  It takes brass balls to sell real estate.”

Well, it takes cast iron testicles the size of bowling balls to do this:

Check out the point at 1:15 when he scorches across the ground between two trees just a few feet off the ground.   Seen from a different perspective at 1:47, the guy on the ground actually ducks to avoid being hit!

Honestly, if I was ever diagnosed with an incurable fatal disease, this is what I’d be doing the following weekend.

 

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Meet the leeches

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

– Wiccapundit

When you argue with liberals about people mooching off the system and draining the productive wealth of this country, you usually get a response like: “well, that’s just an apocryphal story”, or  “you can’t rely on unsourced anecdotes to prove your point.”

Really?  Here’s two rock-solid, sourced examples:

The first is a copy of a receipt from a grocery store for five 24-packs of Mountain Dew, a half-dozen cold-water lobsters, and two Porterhouse steaks.  Total: $141.78, paid for with FOOD STAMPS.

I mean, seriously?  Who drinks Mountain Dew with steak and lobster?

Snopes verified it, and yes, it’s true, because the guy who bought the stuff has been arraigned in criminal court in Menominee, Michigan for trying to sell it.  Yes, it’s apparently legal to buy these kinds of comestibles with money obtained from the public tit; you just can’t turn around and sell them.  Jeez, heartless conservatives trying to keep a man down for doin’ a little arbitrage action?

But as the Democrats whine, “we can’t allow draconian Republican cuts of even a penny from these absolutely necessary social safety-net programs.”

The second takes a few minutes to watch.  Watch it.  This is the face of the blood-sucking parasite attached to your ass, exsanguinating you as you slave away at an actual … what do they call it?  Oh yeah, a job.

This guy should be taken out into the street and beaten senseless with whatever musical instrument he supposedly plays.  As Judge Judy says: “seventy thousand dollars down the sewer.”

Paging John Galt; Mr. Galt, you have a call.

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Pay your f’in loans or we break your legs…

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

– Wiccapundit

Or maybe we handcuff you and stuff you and your small children in the back of a hot police car for 6 hours.   Because nothing says “we’re here from the Federal Government and we’re here to help” like having a SWAT team break down your front door at 6:00 AM looking for your estranged ex-wife who is a hardened criminal person who defaulted on her student loans.

First of all, what is it with law enforcement agencies that can’t find the right person at the right address?  Jeez, even commercial bill collectors are required by law to do some due diligence when tracking down deadbeats.  I have respect for LEO members who are doing a difficult, often dangerous job.  But I have great contempt for chair-warming bureaucrats who exercise the jackboot when it pleases them.  I mean, please.  Just how dangerous is a defaulted student loan debtor going to be?

“Back off coppers!  I may owe a few grand to Uncle Sam for the student loan I took out to get that degree in Womyn’s Indigenous Culture Transgender Studies, but I’m not going to the Big House for it!  Come and get me, flatfoot! Top of the world, Ma!”

As Ace noted, who the hell knew that the Department of Education had a SWAT team?

(h/t Ace sidebar)

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Art? Never heard of it.

Sunday, May 22nd, 2011

– Wiccapundit

As the saying goes: “If I can paint it, it ain’t art.”   Which can be restated as: Most modern art looks like a four-year-old painted it.  The reason four-year-olds paint that way is because they haven’t learned how to paint yet.

This comes to mind when I read this 2001 account:

A cleaner (janitor) at a London gallery cleared away an installation by artist Damien Hirst having mistaken it for rubbish. Emanual Asare came across a pile of beer bottles, coffee cups and overflowing ashtrays and cleared them away at the Eyestorm gallery on Wednesday morning.

Oops.  That was art?  Oh, so sorry, I thought it was a pile of shit.

How long before someone actually pinches a loaf, puts a title on it, and submits it to a juried art exhibition?  I haven’t scoured the bowels of the Internet to confirm, but I suspect it’s already happened.

“Art beware, it’s all been done; there’s nothing new under the sun.” – Ambrosia, “Art Beware”

(h/t Samizdata)

 

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What, no Rapture?

Sunday, May 22nd, 2011

– Wiccapundit

Oh, it was the Rupture that was supposed to happen yesterday.

Well, I did sorta pull my hamstring.

A little.

“Aw hell, who’s gonna feed me now?”

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Lindsey Graham: Tool

Monday, April 4th, 2011

–  Wiccapundit

The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution begins: “Congress shall make no law…”

What part of that simple English statement does Senator Graham fail to understand?

Lindsey Graham on Koran-burning: “Free speech is a great idea, but we’re in a war”

I am thinking of writing a short story about a character who draws a picture of someone burning a photograph of an effigy of the Holey Kore-anne.  (Did I spell that wrong?  Who cares?  Bring on the fatwas.)   How many sub-referential levels would be necessary to cause my artistic expression to be non-insulting to the barbaric members of the Religion of Peace™?  Maybe I could take a Holly Cow-run, smear it with my own excrement, immerse it in a beaker of my own urine, and submit it to the Tate Gallery for a Turner Prize.  I could call it “Andres Serrano Redux: The Undiscovered Country.”

Hey, is that a Wholly Cure-On smoldering there on the grill next to my tasty barbecued pork products?  Personally, I like to grill hot dogs, because they’re made of pork and contain the word “dog,” both of which are an offense to Islam.

UPDATE:  Offered a chance to explain himself, Lindsey Graham confirmed that he is a tool.  In an interview posted at National Review Online, Graham trotted out the hoary old “you can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded theater” line to justify his woolly-headed ideas about what speech he’d like to restrict in violation of the First Amendment.  He is, of course, completely wrong, as well as utterly incapable of understanding the source of that phrase.  It comes from Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes’s opinion in Schenck v. U.S., where in dicta (an explication not part of the specific reasoning on which the opinion of the Court was based and therefore not binding under stare decisis – an important distinction), he noted that free speech would not protect a man  falsely crying  ‘fire’ in a crowded theater.  Obviously, if the theater was on fire a person would be allowed, and arguably would be obligated morally, to cry ‘fire.’

The Schenck decision is the source of the “clear and present danger” standard of restriction on free speech.  This standard, along with the Schenck decision, was overturned in 1969 by the Supreme Court in Brandenburg v. Ohio, which established the current standard that speech may not be restricted unless it is directed to and likely to incite “imminent lawless action.”   Note that even under this standard, the Illinois Nazi Party was allowed to march in the predominantly Jewish community of Skokie, Illinois (source of the “I hate Illinois Nazis” scene in the movie “The Blues Brothers”).  So, the prior restraint of speech is not one the Court will lightly endorse.  Political speech – and the burning of the Koran surely qualifies as political expression – is the type of protected speech that is enshrined highest in the pantheon of  the First Amendment.

Lindsey Graham: Mr. Snap-On.

And yes, I don’t intend to spell the K’whore-on “correctly” (i.e., the way the MSM spells it) ever again.  I’m taking suggestions for variations on the spelling; I don’t want to repeat myself for a long time.

 

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Cock kills prick.

Tuesday, February 8th, 2011

– Wiccapundit

No, really.

Armed Bird at Cockfight Kills Man in Calif. (h/t FoxNews via AoSHQ)

I only posted this so I could use the headline.

Which I didn’t even think up; Elphaba did.

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