Saturday, July 21, 2018 09:53

Posts Tagged ‘Chuck Norris’

Merry Chuckmass!

Friday, December 20th, 2013

– Elphaba

Chuck Norris never gets faced with danger. Danger gets faced with Chuck Norris!

Take that, Jean-Claude Van Damme!

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Friday Funneh: This ass-kicking video of Obama talking about kicking some ass really kicks ass

Friday, June 11th, 2010

– Wiccapundit

Yeah, I’m a day late and a dollar short, but the good stuff always comes from Ace.

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Happy Birthday, Chuck Norris! Sir!

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

–  Wiccpundit

The inimitable Chuck Norris turned 70 today.   Rather, he allowed Time to agree that he has inhabited the Earth for 70 years.

In honor thereof, here is a link to some tasty Chuck Norris facts:

Chuck Norris Turns 70 — We Present a Norris Fact for Every Ass-Kicking Year

Link courtesy of Adam Baldwin’s Twitter feed.  (The conservative Adam Baldwin, of Firefly/Serenity fame, not of the wacko Baldwin clan.)

Some of the better excerpts:

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris’ victims before they died? His shoe.

And one that is not on this list, but is great:  Chuck Norris’s tears can cure cancer.  Unfortunately, Chuck Norris doesn’t cry.

One of my own:  Even though “Sidekicks” was kind of a lame movie, every scene with Chuck Norris in it is Oscar™-worthy.

Happy Birthday, Chuck.  Er, Mr. Norris, Sir!

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