Tuesday, March 28, 2017 12:04

Occult means “hidden,” which is what this crap should be

– Wiccapundit

Regular readers know the contempt in which I hold the “wannabe-witch” crowd; those who freely mix a few elements of Wicca with a dash of paganism and a dollop of, well whatever is “kewl” at the moment.  Like vampires. Thus, you get this abomination: shoes worn by lead character Edward Cullen in the sparkle-vampire megablockbuster movie Twilight.

This is Teh Ghey.    Note the mixed metaphors in the article:

Afraid you’re too unfashionable to be accepted into the local foppish goth coven?  Well I’ve got just the thing: Edward Cullen’s shoes!  Brand new from the Pyramid Collection (Myth, Magick, Fantasy & Romance) come these handsome dress shoes, perfect for a Ren Faire mixer or Wiccan prom.

Goth covens?  Wiccans?  In an article about fictional vampire fashion?  Does the writer have the slightest clue?  Uggh.

Besides, this whole sparkly vampire thing is just pathetic.  Vampires don’t go outside in the daylight, and they look like this:

not like this:

Via Ace.

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22 Responses to “Occult means “hidden,” which is what this crap should be”

  1. Matt says:

    Dang. I was thinking about getting those for you for your next birthday, but I guess not.

    Love the Christopher Lee picture…or is it “Lord Summerisle goes goth”?

    • Wiccapundit says:

      I don’t think they come in Alaska-moose-hunting-snowshoe size, but thanks for the thought.

      Christopher Lee. The Man. I think his best work was in Creature from the Black … Studies Program.

  2. Sebastian says:

    LOL. One of the internet names I often use is “Gothiccan”, which is an intentional mix of Goth and Wiccan. One of these days I am going to have to share with you why I, unlike some of the more elder Wiccans, actually have a place in my heart for the whole goth thing. But for the moment, I can agree with you about all the pop culture crap and the utter shite that passes in the modern vampire portrayals. And those shoes are just plain butt-ugly.

    -Gothiccan 😉

    • Wiccapundit says:

      Sebastian, I don’t have a problem with “goth” in its original useage: to mean Gothic, which is a particular style of architecture, literature, etc. What I was referring to is the shallow pop-goth that is just a flash-in-pan, latest craze kind of thing. But I think you got that.

  3. Elphaba says:

    I was going to buy you a pair of these shoes for your birthday, darling, but they don’t come in a size 12.

    Seriously, though…Stephenie Meyer is single-handledly responsible for the wussification of vampires. Even George Hamilton’s character in “Love at First Bite” (“Children of the night….SHUT UP!”) was more manly than Edward “Sparkle Peen” Cullen…who, by the way, drives a Volvo. Seriously. A Volvo!

  4. Three letters: O…M…G….

    Seriously?? What kind of pussified moron would consider buying this crap?? Only Twitards….

    Gah…I need to look at pretty shoes STAT!!!

  5. Ok, let’s have a vote:

    Who would pay to see Sebastian in these shoes???

    *counts many, many hands up* No, Wiccapundit, only one hand!!

    Looks like everyone would pay to see Sebastian in these shoes. I would like to add, he also has to wear stockings, for the full effect.

    ROFL!!!

  6. James S. says:

    You forgot Kiefer Sutherland in “Lost Boys”. Vampires don’t have to dress in tuxedos to be scary :). One of my troop’s wives has a t-shirt that says

    “Then Buffy staked Edward. The End”

    I love that

  7. cbullitt says:

    I agree. Sick Christopher Lee or Max Shreck on these dick-smoking poseurs.

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