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Archive for the ‘moonbat loony’ Category

What, no Rapture?

Sunday, May 22nd, 2011

– Wiccapundit

Oh, it was the Rupture that was supposed to happen yesterday.

Well, I did sorta pull my hamstring.

A little.

“Aw hell, who’s gonna feed me now?”

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Earth to Chavez

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

– Elphaba

Breaking news:

Chavez Says Capitalism Destroyed Mars Civilization. Wow, Hugo.  Time to invest in some tinfoil hats!  Maybe they make ’em for despotic communist dictators. Here’s a good place to start (now why didn’t I think of this?!):

 

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Scratch Gaza off my list of “places to see before I go to the Summerland.”

Sunday, January 16th, 2011

– Wiccapundit

If the oppressive heat, endless sand, and everything-smells-like-a-camel bouquet aren’t enough, here’s the latest reason to avoid the Middle East:

Gaza: Hamas Arrested Over 150 “Witches” in 2010…

Jeez, can’t a Wiccan just eat his falafel?

(h/t Weasel Zippers)

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Nigger Jim and Injun Joe get the boot.

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011

– Wiccapundit

Proving that no American institution is safe from the grubby paws of the politically correct Bowdlerization crowd, a new edition of Twain’s classic novel Huckleberry Finn will be published with all references to “Nigger” Jim replaced with the word “slave.”

It doesn’t stop there.

The new book will also remove usage of the word Injun. The effort is spearheaded by Twain expert Alan Gribben, who says his PC-ified version is not an attempt to neuter the classic but rather to update it.

“Race matters in these books,” Gribben told PW. “It’s a matter of how you express that in the 21st century.”

The enormity of this stupidity is beyond my capacity to absorb.  Did this so-called expert pass Freshman English in college?  If so, how did he do it without reaching an understanding of the concept of irony?   As Pulitzer-prize-winning writer and commentator Russell Wayne Baker has noted:

The people whom Huck and Jim encounter on the Mississippi are drunkards, murderers, bullies, swindlers, lynchers, thieves, liars, mows, frauds, child abusers, numbskulls, hypocrites, windbags and traders in human flesh. All are white. The one man of honor in this phantasmagoria is ‘Nigger Jim,’ as Twain called him to emphasize the irony of a society in which the only true gentleman was held beneath contempt. (emphasis added)

That’s right, Mr. Gribben, irony.  As Steve Martin so marvelously stated in the film “Roxanne”: “Oh, ho, ho, irony! Oh, no, no, we don’t get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony’s not really a, a high priority. We haven’t had any irony here since about, uh, ’83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at.”

In related news, other classics are set to be updated by NewSouth Books:

In “Moby Dick,” Captain Ahab is set to chase the pigmentally-challenged cetacean, and in a new edition of Shakespeare’s “The Merchant of Venice,” Shylock the Jewish moneylender will be recast as Bob the Semitic-Appearing Investment Banker.

When Mr. Gribben was asked whether he would be reworking the lyrics to rapper Method Man’s “Motherfuckin’ Nigger,”  he replied: “Fuck no, dat shit is dope.”

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I’m not real, I’m just playing the part of someone whose job it is to appear real.

Thursday, October 7th, 2010

– Wiccapundit

Ever wonder what would happen if a theatre group put on a play, and all the people in the audience were actors playing the parts of people actually pretending to watch the play?  Solipsistic head-spinning, anyone?

A ‘Casting Call’ for Obama’s MTV/BET/CMT Town Hall Meeting

PRESIDENT OBAMA TOWN HALL, MTV

MTV, BET and CMT are casting the audience for town hall meeting with President Obama. Shooting Oct. 14, 4 p.m. in Washington, D.C.

Seeking—Audience Members: males & females, 18+.

To apply, email townhallaudience@mtvnmix.com and put “Town Hall” in the subject line. To ensure that the audience represents diverse interests and political views, include your name, phone number, hometown, school attending, your job and what issues, if any, you are interested in or passionate about. Also, provide a recent photo and short description of your political views. Submission deadline: Oct. 14. No pay.

Why mention that there’s no pay for attending what is supposed to be a public town-hall meeting?  Because the ad ran in a magazine for casting actors in pre-written parts.

Perhaps we can give the audience members TelePrompTers™ for asking the questions, then let the Thespian-In-Chief answer the pre-written questions with his pre-written answers while using his TelePrompTer.  Maybe we should include a laugh track, while we’re at it.  Nothing else about this is real, why should the guffaws be?

(stolen unabashedly from Ace)

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The law of unintended stupidity

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

– Wiccapundit

Actually, the Law of Unintended Consequences, but when talking about Congress, same diff.

Dodd-Frank Already Having Unintended Consequences? You Don’t Say!

Parts of the bond market are shutting down because the three big ratings agencies will not allow their ratings to be used by their clients, pending the agencies’ determination of what their legal liabilities will be under the Dodd-Frank financial reform law just signed by the Obaminator.  Without ratings included in their documentation, some bonds involving assets such as mortgages, auto loans, student loans and credit cards cannot legally be sold.

From NRO Online, via the Ace sidebar.

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Black Hole Stupid

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

– Wiccapundit

Just how stupid can you be and still be a member of Congress?

Unemployment benefits are creating jobs faster than practically any other program, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Thursday.

(h/t Lemur King)

Gee, Nancy, if what you say is true, then why don’t we simply fire EVERYBODY in the whole country, give them all unemployment benefits, and then spend our way out of this financial morass?

How stupid is this?  As stupid as a cup of dirt?  My vaunted powers of expression have deserted me.  I must defer to this description of stupid that I found somewhere back sometime ago on some blog, I think:

Annie Potts,” or whatever her real name is, broke all known measurements for stupidity. It was unabashed stupidity. Dumber than grandpa’s claw hammer stupid. Stupid to the bone stupid. Blazing hot mid-day summer sun in Qatar stupid. So stupid it goes past mushrooms on the scale of stupid. It is stupid collapsed on itself – black hole stupid. The event horizon of her stupidity prevents so much as the beginnings of an idea or a rational thought to penetrate the singularity of stupid perched on the top of her emaciated torso. Her grasping to form an idea was some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Pulsar stupid, spinning like an insane dervish spewing more stupidity in one pulse than an entire galaxy of stupid, stupid. She emitted more pure stupidity per second than Congress emits in a year. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by rational thought as to be beyond the ability of intelligent beings to classify it’s stupidity.”

I think I got that from Boortz.

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Oh Hubris, Nemesis is holding on Line One

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

– Wiccapundit

I think I’ve figured it out.  When Obama is looking at the teleprompters, he’s not actually reading anything.  They’re really just mirrors, and he’s basking in the glory of his reflected image.

Narcissism, thy name is Barry.

(h/t Ace)

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Obama’s Underappreciated Success?

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

– Elphaba

This article detailing the secrets of Obama’s “underappreciated” success was linked to by a friend of mine on a social networking site.  She’s thoroughly brainwashed, and I didn’t see the use in pointing out to her how bloody stupid this this, since she thinks communism is a dandy idea, for reals.  I skimmed through the article, produced by TIME magazine in partnership with Communist News Network CNN, thinking, “What planet are these people from?  And how can we send them back to it?”

Lets peruse some of the statements made that are so absurd, they gave me a Porky Pig as Friar Tuck moment of unmitigated mirth:

But by Election Day 2010, Obama will have soundly achieved many of his chief campaign promises while running a highly competent, scandal-free government.

Let’s start with the competence Obama has shown. As he proved in the campaign, he is a master of personnel decisions, choosing people who are excellent at what they do, but also requiring that they play nicely with others.

Wait…it gets even better:

Obama’s two best personnel decisions are probably the two men serving right below him: Vice President Joe Biden and White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel. Yes, Biden still falls victim to caricature as an irrepressible big mouth and is the butt of late-night jokes. And Emanuel can be overly brash and flutter nerves on Capitol Hill and among Administration allies. But Obama knew what he was getting in both men, and they have performed up to or above his expectations.

You simply cannot make this shit up!  Oh, yes, and furthermore…according to the author, Mark Halperin, Obama (unlike Bill Clinton) has managed to “preserve the majesty of office.” *cough*  There is already such a wealth of evidence to refute every statement this wingnut  makes in this embarrassingly fawning, ass-kissing article, that a person would have to be completely without reason to agree with it.  Yet my friend thinks it is all true, but I guess that’s what a liberal education will buy you.

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Idiocy Overload

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

– Elphaba

It’s not that I’ve had nothing to post about, it’s that there is too much to post about, and real life gets in the way of sitting down and composing my thoughts.  Too much nasty shit is coming down the pike, and it sometimes gets overwhelming to to contemplate it all.  For instance:

Honestly, it just goes on and on and on and on.  No time for a breather.  We are swimming hard just to keep our heads above water, and it would be nice to see the tide turn in our favor.

But enough about what’s bothering me.  Let’s talk about you.  What’s going on with y’all right now?

Oh, and Aggie,  what do you think of these?

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