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The coming Trumpslide

Sunday, July 17th, 2016

Wiccapundit –

All of the “conservative” commentariat will be remarking in November that they TOTES knew that Trump was going to beat Hillary.  This reminds me of the scene in the movie “Stripes” where Bill Murray responds to his girlfriend’s complaint about him listening to his “stupid Tito Puente albums ’till two in the morning.”  Murray responds: “Tito Puente is going to be dead, and you’re going to say ‘Oh, I’ve been listening to him for years, and I think he’s fabuluous.’ ”  It’s always easier to call the batter out AFTER he’s fanned on three fastballs and he’s slouching back to the dugout.

Accordingly, I’m going to call the 2016 Presidential election right here, right now.  This is going to be an epic thumping, with Trump the thumper and Clinton the thumpee.  I’m not going to prognosticate what “path to the Presidency” Trump has, or where he will get the necessary electoral votes, or what the popular vote totals will be, or what states are “battleground” states, or trending blue or red or purple, or whatever hash Nate Silver, the 538 crowd, and the usual talking heads are blathering about.

This election is unlike previous elections.  The traditional wisdom – which has never been all that wise – does not apply here.

Reason 1:

Trump will NEVER run for President!

Okay, he’s actually running, but he’s not serious about it!

Okay, he’s serious, but he’ll get his ass kicked in the first debate!

Okay, he did well in the first debate, but that was just a fluke!

Okay, it wasn’t a fluke, but he can’t win any other debates!

Okay, he’s winning debates, but he’ll get crushed in the caucuses!

Okay, he did well in the caucuses, but he’ll NEVER win an actual primary!

Okay, so he won a primary, but he’ll NEVER win any others!

Okay, so he’s won some primaries in small Northeastern states, but he’ll NEVER win a primary in the South!

Okay, so he can win a primary in the South, but he’ll get obliterated on Super Tuesday!

Okay, so he pretty much ran the table on Super Tuesday, but he’ll never get enough delegates to win at the convention on the first ballot! Brokered convention, woo-hoo!

Okay, so he’s got the total delegates to be the “presumptive” nominee, but Cruz’s ground game and the NeverTrumpers will wreck him in the Rules Committee! Brokered convention, woo-hoo!

Okay, so the NeverTrump movement got pwned in the Rules Committee and sputtered out like a wet fart in a hurricane, but Trump is going to be flattened by Hillary in the general election!

Starting to see a trend with the “conventional wisdom?”  None of these assholes has the first clue about what is happening here.

Reason 2:

Hillary sucks nine kinds of ass as a retail politician.  She was at the side of one of the most gifted grifters political operators of the modern age for YEARS, and she apparently learned NOTHING.  She’s like that crazy aunt that comes to the family reunion and regales everyone with off-kilter jokes too loud, while everybody tries to find a way to escape to the buffet table.

Result:

Electoral landslide for Trump. Popular vote win for Trump. Republicans keep the House and Senate, setting up the Trumpocalypse.

You heard it here (almost) first, folks.  Unless I’m wrong, in which case this post will disappear down the memory hole, because that’s how we roll in the Brave New World of modern journalism.

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